And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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