I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
