If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize