umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
