its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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