just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
