Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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