Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
