Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
