She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
