one two three fourrrrnication!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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