i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
