Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
