Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
