pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize