Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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