This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
