Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.

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(807): View more from Ontario

I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night

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(317): View more from Indiana

Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus

(1-317): View more from Indiana

tequila?

(317): View more from Indiana

yep

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(775): View more from Nevada

I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing

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(317): View more from Indiana

I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.

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(714): View more from California

How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Damn, well, it could always be worse

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad

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(810): View more from Michigan

Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party

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