She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal