he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
so he's a sleeptalker.
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.