Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!

Fav 21 5838 1495
share tweet
(763): View more from Minnesota

dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve

(608): View more from Wisconsin

clearly you are not from wisconsin

Fav 104 8058 1171
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(517): View more from Michigan

can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised

Fav 10 4249 1681
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.

Fav 6 4992 1250
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(920): View more from Wisconsin

I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness

Fav 13 5273 1175
share tweet
(530): View more from California

Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me

Fav 6 2998 1157
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(604): View more from British Columbia

I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment

Fav 10 2583 1320
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(772): View more from Florida

Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa

Fav 11 1866 882
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(347): View more from New York

He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone

Fav 2 399 700
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT