we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.