I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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