Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
