Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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