we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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