you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
