so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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