I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
