I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize