Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
