ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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