Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
