Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
being pregnant is like rehab
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
