Ambien. No doubt about it.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
