i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
