Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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