it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
