im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
