Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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