well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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