i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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