You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
