i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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