So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
