I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
now i know why i became what i already was.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
