I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
