I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
