margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
