i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
