Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
a search helicopter?!
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
