mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
