Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
