If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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