Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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