Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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