It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
