this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize