That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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