do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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