Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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