I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize