some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
