Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
