Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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