Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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