Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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